Passionate about movies, TV shows, Video-Games, Graphic Novels and Soundtracks. Skills include proficient nitpicking, ability to condescend and also typing. Additionally I am cosmically cynical and prone to excessive rants.
Whereas End of Zoe had a somewhat hefty price tag associated with it, Not a Hero has no such barrier to entry. This means that if you already own a copy of Resident Evil 7, then you are entitled to this substantial epilogue piece, which sees Chris Redfield fight his way through the South Dulvey Salt Mines, in pursuit of Lucas Baker (the only remaining antagonist from the original game). The expansion ultimately promises to tie up a few loose ends, all whilst delivering the same terrific gameplay that ran through RE:7 itself.
Resident Evil 7: Biohazard is a legitimate candidate for ”most surprising game of 2017”. Which is odd, given that its lofty pedigree should deny it any kind of dark horse status. It is, after all, descending from a uniquely impressive lineage, one that includes bona fide classics like Resident Evil Remake, Resident Evil 2 and of course, the incomparable Resident Evil 4.
In Absentia Luci, Tenebrae Vincunt – In the Absence of Light, Darkness Prevails.
Likewise, in the absence of competence, asinine garbage will invariably triumph. Which means that for all the recent advancements in cinematic technique and film-making technology, you can always count on some hack to drop the ball.
Make no mistake, professional ineptitude will never go out of fashion. Which brings us nicely to the second (and much angrier) segment of our review of 2017’s movie set pieces. In the last part, I was uncharacteristically positive and complimentary, so in an effort to restore the natural order, here are the Worst Action Sequences of the year.
It’s that time again. That’s right, it’s time for arbitrary lists that subjectively rank the best/worst things of the year! This one is about 2017’s decent catalogue of cinematic action scenes, which means there’s likely a lot of omissions to piss you off.
With that in mind, remember to post your baffling vitriol and inexplicable anger in the comments.
An unfortunate combination of customer dissatisfaction, managerial impotency and employee laziness has resulted in Cupid Carpets falling on hard times. As a result, Nigel (the firm’s desperate, but ultimately ineffectual, owner) is all-too-eager to take on any job that comes his way. So when he gets a call from an old country house, situated in the middle of nowhere, he doesn’t hesitate in sending his team to the remote location. Upon arriving however, the carpet fitters quickly realize that the job is actually a trap set by a local family of bloodthirsty cannibals. The carpet fitters are thus forced to band together in a brutal fight for survival, one that pits them against the deformed and savage Hannings clan. Continue reading →