Video Review: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

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Why Hollywood’s Unhealthy Obsession With Movie Ratings Needs to End

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This was originally published at Flickering Myth on 13 October 2018.

From a sanitised Die Hard sequel to an R-rated Star Trek, when it comes to ratings Hollywood is incapable of leaving well enough alone.

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Is it just me, or has the theatre became the worst place to watch movies?

This was originally published at Flickering Myth on June 23rd 2018. 

A quick disclaimer: It took numerous rewrites for me to get this article into a state where it no longer resembled a deranged manifesto. At one point it was just the phrase ”Tear it all down” repeated for roughly 6 pages, along with a few obligatory references to”the phonies”. Despite my best efforts to reign all that stuff in, this therapeutic exercise is still going to be incredibly spiteful and mean-spirited. So… Enjoy?

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The Stupidest Argument in all of Film Criticism

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Being the most asinine thing to come out of a discussion about pop culture is a truly monumental achievement. After all, we’re talking about a subject that has people obsessing over the politics of Ghostbusters, whining about how journalists ‘bully’ certain comic-book corporations, and fretting over the horrific injustices of some incredibly rich, famous people not winning shinny awards. To top the stupidity league in this particular climate is no easy feat.

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Yet Another Obligatory Oscar Rant: For the Nerds

Excluding the distinctly farcical conclusion, this year’s Academy Award’s ceremony was mostly just business as usual. Excessive features, forced comedy, laboured political references; all present and accounted for. Over in the UK we even got the customary appearance of Alex Zane, who through his sheer presence managed to once again prove that the Schmidt pain index does not go high enough. On a whole it was a fairly by-the-numbers affair.

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How to Review a Comic-Book Adapatation

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Hello there! So I hear that you want to write a review of a new Superhero Film/ TV Show? Well boy have you come to the right place! You see, if you follow our basic tips, then you’ll be able to ignore the blatant irony inherent in complaining about the over-abundance of comic-book adaptations, whilst simultaneously writing another fucking entertainment blog. With this guide, we’ll teach you how to complain that all commercial products are ‘safe’, ‘generic’ and ‘formulaic’, whilst also writing the exact same shit as everyone else on the internet. So what are you waiting for? Dive in and join the ever-growing journalistic cesspit of crushing mediocrity! 

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